Lots of changes in the last week - although not in Helen herself. She remains off her anticancer drug and the itch has mostly resolved. She is in no pain or discomfort. Sleeps a fair bit. Enjoys her food - but needs to be something she likes and needs to be fed. Sometimes still sings and hums to herself.
Regular visits from Kaye and Shirley, the occasional visitor from far away - Camille, Gabe (my new housemate), and Louis has been here for a week and is spending many hours with her a day.
Over the weekend Louis and I tried to fill in the forms for the Pearl Nursing Home in Darwin but as we talked we began to revisit the idea of moving her interstate.
Basically if she stays in Darwin I will remain the primary person. There are two major problems with that - I have plans to be away from Darwin for most of October and November (a combination of work and personal travel including organising a fabulous 40th for myself and participating in the Natimuk Frinj) plus - in general - I am not going so well emotionally and I can't face the idea of being Helen's main person supervising and supporting the care in the Nursing Home at this stage. That brought us to considering Melbourne and Brisbane again. Louis is very committed to his life in Brisbane and although we know Helen would love more contact with her siblings who are all Melbourne based we have decided to pursue Brisbane in the first instance. I am sad about letting her go. Sad too that she won't have Kaye and Shirley in her life as she has done but on the other hand - I can step back to being the less responsible intermittent visitor and focus on the rest of my life a bit, the Brisbane summer will be more comfortable than either the Darwin BuildUp/Wet or the Melbourne half-summer and she will love seeing Louis regularly. Other Brisbane friends may agree to join a roster of visits too - Louis is going to start thinking about this.
Renting out rooms in her Darwin house will help to pay for the nursing home costs in Brisbane - the place we are looking at has "extra service" beds so we need a bond etc but it does seem as if it is quite well staffed and resourced. Louis and I visited it together last Easter and were impressed that they had fertile eggs hatching into baby chickens for the residents' amusement.
I can visit Brisbane, and so can other family and friends from down South and as Louis points out it is a shorter flight and a bit cheaper than getting to Darwin.
At this stage we are working toward discharge and transfer (with one of us as escort) on ~ the 12th September. I hope Kaye will be back by then.
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