Sad news at 1.15pm today

Before Dave could return to the hospital, or Louis or I return to Darwin, Helen passed away. The hospice staff were with her - David was reading from her poetry book, Hayley the music therapist was playing music to her and between one breath and the next, she stopped. It was peaceful and quiet. I'm glad she didn't have to suffer fevers, cough or breathing troubles for very long. From all accounts she did not seem distressed either during the morning or in the time leading up to death. The Hospice has offered to keep her in her room until we have had a chance to come and be with her. I will arrive at 7.30 and Louis at 10.30 tonight.

30th November 2011

It sounds as if Helen has pneumonia. Dave says he spent a few hours with her this morning and she was not rouse able and had fairly noisy rapid breathing. Later on the pall care doctors came round and said that she has a significant fever as well. I will be back in Darwin tonight and plan to go straight out to the hospital. I think Louis plans to come up tomorrow. In the interim Dave is going to sit with her.

29th November 2011

Doug left Darwin a week ago and Dave and I arrived. Louis is still in Victoria. Restarting work has been busy for me. I've visited Helen 3 times only in the week just gone and I'm in Alice now for work and won't see her again til Thursday. On the visits I have had, I've had a little conversation each time. The first was much the best as she recognised my voice and we spoke intermittently for about 10 minutes - all fantastical things from her mind such as worrying she would crush some eggs she was carrying - but it was lovely to be recognised and to feel that if I joined in and reassured her about the eggs she was reassured. The other two visits she ate/drank a few mouthfuls and recognised me but it was very brief in terms of interaction and she basically fell asleep again for the rest of each visit. I hear from the nurses that Kaye has been in a bit but I haven't crossed paths with her. It was lovely to read Kathy's card to Helen and to receive Maureen and Dorothy's recent missives. I haven't yet been able to try to read them to Helen - she's not really withit enough. Dave is going to visit her today on my behalf. Robin (Helen's brother) plans to arrive next week for a few days and I think Louis will return sometime toward the end of next week also.

Thursday 17th November 2011

Doug is in Darwin now and both Louis and I are in Victoria. Louis found it very hard to leave as Helen has been increasingly sleepy and confused and he felt she was starting to come to the end. This message from Doug this morning was very cheering to both of us: "After being asleep for the last 2 days and hardly eating anything Helen was awake when I came in this morning - she laughed at some of my jokes and ate half a bowl of scrambled eggs, and drank half a cup of milo. She said "this is wonderful food". She also said she would see if Robin and David could take her to Mooroolbark. I said she could look after her chickens there, and she smiled and said "Yes, that'd be fun". I asked her if she had goats there too, and she said "I've seen pictures, but I've never been there"."

13th November 2011

I've just returned to Natimuk. Louis is still doing solo duty with Helen. From the sounds of things it's been pretty hard on him. She is still sleepy, drinking a little, talking sometimes but often confused and talking about things going on in her imagination. He has been trying to visit her 2-3 times a day at the hospice and says he does feel she is aware of him and derives comfort from his presence and reassurance but having said that there's no point making long visits as she is so out of it. The hospice is a 20 minute drive from Helen's house in The Gardens so that is an exhausting regime and he hasn't had any companionship up there just lately. I don't plan to return until the 21st at the earliest and possibly the 23rd. Am trying to think of a way to provide Louis with a respite break that he will still feel gives Helen enough support that he can feel ok about letting go and I can finish my business down here before returning to Darwin.

4th November 2011

Over the last week Helen sounds to have been fairly stable. Last week Dr A called me to say they felt she was deteriorating - drinking less, more sleepy and more confused. Louis was able to come South for my birthday as our cousin Kathy flew up and spent 5 days or so relieving him. It sounds like that went well and Louis has now returned to take over day to day care. I am overseas for another week and don't have regular phone or internet contact so the blog won't be the best source of up to date info until I get back to Australia. Having said that Louis emails me and I will check email often.