Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Monday 4th January 2010

Well I'm back after a significant hiatus. In my absence Louis managed fabulously. Helen remains in the Mater hospital in bed 889. She finally had the much discussed blood transfusion while I was gone and Louis said he noticed a big improvement after this. Helen also acknowledges that she felt significantly better the morning after although the experience of actually having the blood was marked by gore and delay with a kinked line and spillage all over the bed. In having had a break I think she seems better too - able to smile and laugh sometimes and to make positive comments, able to acknowledge others' more positive versions of reality when she is challenged on a piece of delusional negative thinking. She is able to read. She can walk cautiously and slowly with a walking stick (easier to manage than a wheely-walker) and self transfer to the toilet given appropriate rails and supports. She is still troubled by the "clenched teeth" and a general feeling of being clenched and locked up. I don't know what this is but suspect maybe it is another paraneoplastic thing. It seems tiring. Benzodiazepines work a bit.
One of the best things to happen while I was away was Mum's friend Kaye came to visit from Darwin. This has been a great success and the particularly fabulous bit of that is that Mum was really anxious about her arrival. She worried about all sorts of things - where would Kaye sleep?, what would she do in Brisbane? - she doesn't know it and has no friends here, she would judge Mum for not trying harder to get better, she would judge Mum for still having chemo...a whole bunch of things which were irrational depressive/anxious thoughts. As it's turned out they've had heaps of fun together and have done some interesting/adventurous things such as seeing Bright Star with Louis (Jane Campion movie on Keats) which Helen found terribly soppy, walking in the botanical gardens with Louis and Doug and me, reading poetry together (including the aforementioned Keats) and just generally spending some good time together.

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