Wed 18 Nov

Today will be a busy day - medical oncologist and psychiatrist appointments plus dressings etc. Next week we have a radiation oncology appointment to review the burns and the hearing - but both are slowly improving so we'll see. Helen is thinking a lot about Darwin and how to set things up to live there. At the moment I'm thinking the timeframe is still another month or so here but as I keep saying everything seems to change pretty quickly. Physically she is walking better and managing to do a few things - like sweep up a broken glass or move the fan around the room which would have been impossible a few weeks ago. Hopefully eating , sleeping and being active will continue and she will get a little stronger still. Anxiousness is still strong though...she has good insight into it but it doesn't really help that much. Brisbane friends and those who want to see her but don't want to go to Darwin should consider trying to plan visits in the next while.

I realise this contradicts what I wrote yesterday about limiting social contact - but I guess I still think it's worth having. Visitors just need to be sensitive so she doesn't feel like she has to pretend she's completely her old self as that's what's exhausting. I think sometimes when feeling anxious it can be good just to do something with someone. Evenings - after dinner and before bed are actually pretty good right now, as are mid-afternoons. Pretty awake and still finding reading and writing difficult so visits or outings could be a good. In fact she could be taken out to dinner if you find somewhere really quiet and are happy to take the wheelchair with you. The other tip I would have is not to ask too pointedly "how are you going?" as this requires a response and introspection that makes her feel worse. It would be better simply to tell her something about yourself or your own life (slowly and clearly) or to do something active or creative together. Anyway - that's probably enough prescriptive and conflicting advice from me - you'll just all have to play it by ear as we do...