I did not know Helen as well as many others did. But during 2008 I was lucky to spend time with Helen and Kaye, in triangular poetry discussions, and work on our own writng. Helen was working on "So Many Versions of a Life" at the time . I think she was unwell for some of that year, but did not discuss how she felt, and I left Darwin at the end of that year. I was shocked in 2009, to hear she had cancer. I loved Hugh Crago's poem 20/10/09 about Helen being fiercely caring, fiercely intelligent. Whatever other words I use---integrity, kindness, humour, sharp but compassionate perceptiveness – they are summed up by those phrases.
I saw her again only for a few days in Melbourne in December 2010. I feel as if I have had more contact with her than that, because of Natasha's blog, all the news and photos. Thankyou Natasha. Thankyou Natasha and Louis for keeping Helen in contact with everyone.
Rereading a letter Helen sent me 7/4/09, I see that the theme of fierceness recurs, although it is as part of a discussion and quote from a poem by Elaine Feinstein I had copied out for her. (Book lost by me in shifting, but it was about putting one's creative life first, entitled Muse). Helen talks of not doing the things she likes until she can show proper progress in the area of duty, thus foregoing the " strengthening"of her "fierce and obstinate centre" which could have "defended" her. (words in italics quoted by Helen from the poem).
Well, I am glad there were many times when she allowed her Muse to speak, often fiercely. Helen, for me you are first and foremost a poet, and if I were to contribute any words to your coffin, they would be HELEN the POET. (But I think this will already be all over your coffin) .
Love and thanks from Judith S.
IN THE TRADE
Jars of acid and
exfoliating cream
tools of the poet
(p 66, Helen Pavlin, Collected Poems,, 1993)
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